The last 365 days

My best friend died last year, today. I have lost friends to kayaking before; Jeff West, Stephen Forster, just to name a couple. But, I have never lost my best friend. 

Enjoying the Idaho sun. 

It took me a long time to get close to Shannon. For a year, she told her parents she would make me be her friend, she would ask Snowy to tell me to hang out with her. 

Little bug. 

I'm not very good at having female friends. I'm competitive, protective, and I like having all of the attention. I finally gave in. Shannon started coming over to our house, her infectious attitude always made people laugh and smile, we (and Caroline Moon) started going to yoga together a couple of times a week. I remember one class we made Jay Mahan come with us, we giggled the whole session. Always pushing each other over, making farting noises, doing arm balances after class. We were like two peas in a pod. 

On the Bechtals front porch, best swing ever!

 In the spring of 2013, I was asked to go on a Backcountry Babes trip on the Middle Fork of the Salmon with Canyons Rafting out of McCall Idaho. I of course said yes. I was then told I could bring a friend with me. It took me a little, but I decided to ask Shannon to come with. It was the best decision I have ever made, every day since then I smile when I think about how excited she was to go on the trip. I was happy to be able to give her the chance to go. 

The takeout to the Middle Fork of the Salmon.

Shannon taught me a lot in those 2 short weeks in Idaho; an infectious smile gets you anything, find happiness even in the smallest of things, and always look to the future without fear. 

When we got back from Idaho, it was back to the daily grind. I was training really hard for the Freestyle Worlds at the NOC being held in September, I was working, and so was Shannon. We got busy for the next few weeks. She really wanted me to come to the Great Falls Race with her. I was in the midst of having some massive breakthroughs in freestyle so I decided to stay back, I regret that decision every day.

The girl with no belly button lives. 

 I think about if things would have been different if I was at Great Falls, one year ago today. 

Where we belonged, on the river together. 

 She stopped by the house when we were eating dinner one night, my friend Josh Chambers was there. Shannon came bursting into the house, started laughing and smiling and saying that she was off to the Potomac for the weekend. She was so excited. I wish I would have known that was the last time I was going to see her.  

What I woke up to every morning for 2 amazing weeks. 

 On July 11 2013, I woke up at the NOC like another normal day. I paddled in the morning then mid day I was at Slow Joes with Claire O'hara doing a blog post. I got a pretty frantic message from Anna Levesque telling me to call Patricia Beaks and it was about Shannon. My life changed forever in the next few moments. I was told that Shannon was missing and presumed dead. Patricia was asking for Shannons' parents contacts. I only knew they lived in Andrews, NC, right up the road. 

Ah, jet setting. 

I had so many thoughts go through my head. I was alone in a place where I grew up and knew everyone. I just wanted to disappear from the world and pretend it didn't happen. I of course called Snowy, who had already heard the news and he told me to stay at the NOC because I should not be driving. I wanted to go home so bad. I wanted to be held by the man I love and grieve the loss of our friend together. I knew it was a bad idea to drive though. 

Besties for good. 

The next days were a whirlwind. I found Shannons' parents and met them for the first time on July 12. I felt like I already knew them and they already knew me also. I met her twin brother, whom has the same infectious smile, I could not stop staring. Her older brother was like a teddy bear to hold, when he hugged me I felt like everything would be ok. Her family is the most amazing family I have ever met.  

Smallest plane ever!! That poor pilot. 

We rock at fishing. 

Things started coming together, Snowy and I had to fly to DC to get the Dagger van with Shannons things in it, her family was going to fly up for the weekend, it was all a blur though. I told Snowy "If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything." Snowy had lost a friend and collegue. I lost one of the few people who broke through my hard outer shell and saw me for who I was. 

But, not golf. 

 In the month after Shannons death, I was a wreck. But, only on the inside. I kept as busy as I could, I was on a different plane every week, going places, doing things. I never sat still. I cried a lot, but no one saw it. I heard from people with condolences and their thoughts on Shannon.

Shannon was good at everything. :-)

 I lost a part of me that will never come back. As I write this, one year later, I have changed, and grown, a lot. I don't want to run class 5 anymore, I don't want to be scared all of the time. Doing the Grand Prix this year was something I wanted to do to tell myself that it's going to be ok, and I knew that Shannon really wanted me to do it. 

Driving on the golf course. 

Shannon is with me every day, when I am at work, at school, at home, on the river. Losing her made me rethink my priorities a lot. It also has made me love more powerfully. 

Living the dream. 

On that note, CHEERS to Shannon, her infectious smile, hilarious laugh, amazing personality. May we all try to be like Shannon and embody what she wanted this world to be like. Smile at every one today and brighten someones day the way Shannon did every day.

Looking to the future, without fear. 

Shannon was the best thing thats happened to me since I met Snowy. I miss her so much every day. 

Forever together. 

 I am typing this from the information center in Sort, Spain. I am here for the final Freestyle World Cup. I compete in an hour and a half. Today, I compete for Shannon. Today, I find happiness in the small things and I have no fear of the future. Today, I smile at everyone. 

Rest in Peace my best friend.
12/7/1989-7/11/2013

Slowing it Down

I was hoping to be ending my three part series of my Middle Salmon trip pretty quickly, that did not happen. Only a few days after posting my second part of the series my best friend, Shannon Christy (and large part of my Salmon trip) died in a kayaking accident on the Potomac River. My world began to spin and suddenly my summer changed from being the best summer I have ever had in my life to hearing the worst news and feeling the most heartbroken that I have felt. 

Waking up every morning. 

Things happened pretty quickly, Snowy and I had to drive to the Potomac to get the Dagger van and also to see people at the memorial service. The next weekend I decided to hop a flight to Rhode Island to go deep sea fishing with my dad and sister, Shannons' memorial service was the next weekend, the weekend after that I suddenly showed up at Outdoor Retailer in Salt Lake City, and the next weekend I found myself in Michigan with my mom, sister, grandmother, and two aunts. Things never slowed down. When not grabbing flights, I was at the NOC training really hard for the quickly approaching Freestyle Worlds event.  

The last river trip with my best friend.

Every person grieves differently. Shannon was one of the very few girls who I have ever let get close to me. She knew me better than any other woman, she could read me like a book, I never got anything past her. We both taught each other a lot and we could always bounce ideas off of each other without fear of being judged. After three years with my boyfriend, Snowy was stoked to see me hanging out with another girl, everything was going so well. That didn't last long enough, there were a lot more things that Shannon and I wanted to do, have her be my maid of honor at my wedding, raise our kids together, and drive people nuts when we got old. We had a lot more adventures planned and we were always looking for new adventures.

The confluence of the Middle and Main Salmon

After my whirlwind month, sitting quietly is painful. I didn't cry very much that first month. I cry every day now, the smallest thing's set me off. A song that reminds me of her, a picture that I find, or even just looking at a red Mamba. The one positive thought that I have for all of this is that I have an angel on my shoulder all the time now. She keeps me safe, comfortable, and she reminds me to be happy, even in the hardest of times. 

God placed Shannon on this Earth as an angel, a ray of light that will never dim, even when we can't be with her physically, she is there spiritually. 

I will always love Shannon and I will never be able to replace her with anyone. I will tell my children of an angel who dropped onto my lap and caused me everlasting happiness. 

December 7 1989-July 11 2013

Middle Salmon Part 2

Shannon, tanning her legs, as kayakers, we have white legs!!

 After hiking up a mountain and surfing the crap out of the wave at Marble, I was beat. We slept under the stars that night and I woke up at one point to just see the true beauty of mother nature. The stars were out in a full force and all I could do was be in awe of them. I was so tired, I was only able to keep my eyes open for like 45 seconds but it was amazing. In the morning, Shannon and I heard that it was going to be a pretty easy day so we were happy to sit on the raft and be princessess again. 

River otters

 One of the things about rafting is, you can sleep and still make progress downstream! It was brilliant, we went like 6 miles and we slept the whole way. Along the way we did wake up to see these cute river otters having lunch on the side of the river. It was so cool to see wildlife. 

Campbell's Crew on the Middle Salmon

When we made it to camp that night we heard rumor of some awesome hot springs. It was the Loon hot springs, about a half mile up the creek. Since we had such a hard day of laying on the raft, instead of walking up there before dinner, we spent the afternoon plucking each others eyebrows and painting nails. Yep, I just said that. It was also tequila night for dinner and I definitely could not miss that!

Camp at Loon

 After dinner that night, the "young" crowd all rallied to the hot springs in the dark, using the light of the moon and the lightning storm going on. Luckily, I had the foresight of setting the tent up before we left camp that night... We had a great time at the hot springs, sipping on whiskey, loving on mother nature, and taking periodic dips in the freezing water of Loon Creek. It was a great way to spend a late afternoon with the girls. That night, we awoke to some very loud crashing and then sheets of torrential down pouring. A massive thunderstorm had rolled through, Shannon and I happily just rolled over and fell back to sleep, while listening to many people at camp struggling to put their tents up :-)

Scenery

The first half of the day started off amazing and we were happy to be back on the river. It was cloudy and had cooled off considerably with the storms coming through. We didn't have very many people in the duckies and even the kayakers were a bit cold. 

My best friend.

When we stopped for lunch, the sun came out, the clouds broke, and we all stripped down to our bathing suits. I took off my drysuit and was running around in just a bikini top and some underwear for a while! 

A normal outfit for me

 Everyone was hoping this wasn't a "sucker hole" but no one wanted to talk about it. After lunch, I tied my boat up and got back in the raft with Tessa and Rachel for more "princes boating". That lasted for about four minutes when I noticed some very dark looming clouds ahead and I promptly found my drysuit to put on. 

Rafting in a hail storm, in June??!!!

 Literally 3 seconds after zipping my trusty drysuit all the way, we looked downstream to see a wall of water coming towards us. We thought it was water, really it was hail, and coming down hard! The wind picked up very quickly and suddenly we found ourselves hunkering in the middle of the river for warmth. It was pretty miserable, the only consolation was that I knew it would end at some point. 

Not a pretty sight

 This deluge of rain/hail made all of us pretty cold for the rest of the day. We got to camp at a reasonable time but we were all pretty beat from the cold weather. Shannon and I crashed out on our paco pads without even letting them blow up! We woke up to dinner being made and a whiskey tasting was going on, we can't miss that. We also got to witness home made tiramasu being made with some very nice chocolate and whiskey.

Waterfall in the gorge

At lunch time the next day we were able to stop at this amazing, sacred, place. It is a round "bowl" with water flowing out of the top of it, that comes from the bottom of a tree, and falls down to where the people are sitting in the picture above. The fall moves with the wind and, once again, it is truly magical to watch mother earth work what she can do.

Pictographs

 We also got to see our first pictographs of the trip in this same place. I can understand why the "Sheepeater" indians wanted to stay here so bad. It is green, lush, easy to hunt long horned sheep from,  there is fresh water, and easy river access. 

Dated up to 8,000 years old

I could have stayed here the rest of the day and been completely content. I also knew what was ahead, the Impassable Canyon. 

Entering the Impassable Canyon

I was paddling my play boat most of the day and I was so exited to surf some massive waves. As the day went on, more water entered into the river. I had been surfing all day long but I was looking forward to the Impassable Canyon the most. 

I'm going to leave it at that for now. I'm sitting next to the Nantahala River, finishing my coffee at Rivers End, about to go train for Worlds in freestyle. Time to go kayaking! Make sure to check back periodically for the last part to my Middle Salmon series. 

Happy kayaking!!

Middle Fork of the Salmon part 1

Best airport ever

 So I was lucky enough to be invited on an all womens' trip on the Middle Salmon that had been put on by both Backcountry Babes and Canyons Rafting Company out of McCall Idaho. It was the first ever all womens trip, including women driving a boat called the "sweep boat", more about that later. My partner in crime, Shannon Christy, and I flew out of Denver sunday morning and landed happily in Boise, only to get on a four seater, gum package sized, airplane to get to McCall. We packed all of our stuff, kind of slept for a night, and then got back on the gum package sized airplane to fly to the put in of the Middle Salmon. 

Tessa Greer, rower extraordinare!

 We met the rest of our trip at the Boundary put-in. There would be 26 women on the trip with us, including all of the guides and safety kayakers. It was looking like it was going to be a great 6 day trip. The put in was bustling, between our trip putting on and all of the privates, there was little space to get on the water! It reminded me of the Gauley!

Craziness at the put-in

I immediately realized how beautiful this area was. The Middle Salmon area is the largest piece of land that is protected and untouched in the continental United States. Everyone got all packed up and we were briefed by the crew that would be taking us down the river for the next six days, five nights. We were finally off and I was happy as a clam in my bright pink Remix 59. Shannon and I were boofing every rock in sight and also marveling at what was surrounding us.

Sheepeater hot springs

 After paddling 14 miles we stopped at Fire Island, the first camp of our trip. We were all very happy to make the half mile treck up stream to the Sheep Eater Hot Springs even though it was already 85 degrees outside. After cooking in the hot springs for a while we came back to camp to find that there were crab cakes that had been made for us as appetizers! Yes, I said crab cakes, on the river. We also got a chance to play some bocce ball, until I lost my ball. We re-named the camp "Camp Blue Ball", there is still a blue bocce ball somewhere out there! Some clouds rolled in as the evening went on so Shannon and I decided to set up a tent. 

Morning yoga session to warm up

 The night was amazing, sleeping next to the river is so natural and we all slept like babies. In the morning we had eggs cooked to our liking and loads of fresh fruit. We had 20 miles of paddling in front of us and from what we heard there were going to be some big rapids. This trip was more about being with an amazing group of women than about running rapids, though that is fun too... I got to go "ducky" for the first time since I was 11 and I was stoked! 

Devon Barker-Hicks, so happy to have her with us!

 After lunch, Shannon and I heard the rapids slowed down pretty substantially so we opted to tie our kayaks to the raft and go "princess boating". We pretty much laid on the front of the raft, on a paco pad, and slept. It was the best way to go down a river ever. At one point, Shannon and I found ourselves clutching each other in the middle of the raft, literally kicking water away from us so we didn't get wet. This lead to hours of laughing and giggling between the three of us, Shannon, Tessa, and I. 

Just along for the ride

 Every corner that we turned was even more beautiful. 

The view from our post for most of the second day.

 We tried our hardest to stay away from the water and make sure we got a good tan on. I had to make sure my poor bald head didn't get burnt too!!

My best friend and I. Princess boating at it's best.

 We spent more time taking pictures of ourselves and laughing at each other than anything. It was a cool experience to turn over the reigns to someone else on the river and just be along for the ride, like a real tourist. We don't do that very often so it was an interesting perspective.

Tessa at one point told me to row. I'm no good. 

 Tessa gave me the chance to row the boat for a little bit, I was very terrible. It went against everything that I have ever known about kayaking, in fact, its the opposite. I was only behind the wheel for like 4 minutes  and I was happy to give Tessa back the power. 

Shannon and I stoked on surfing at Marble!

 After spending half of the day tanning and drinking beer we landed at the night two campsite, Marble left. I heard rumor there was a great surf wave here, the rumors were true! I was so excited to jump straight into my Biscuit and rally onto the water to get some surfing in!! It was the first real "wave" that I have surfed in years and it all came back to me very quickly. 

Camp is all the way at the bottom!

 After the evening surf session I decided to tackle the huge mountain that was behind us. I ran up it. It was hot, the sun was still very high in the sky, and I went for it. By the time I got to the top I was tired, broken, dirty, and very sweaty. The view from the top made up for all of the hard work that I had just put myself through. I felt like I could see for years up there! On the way down, I knew every step I took got me closer to a nice drink and some awesome food. 

Huge bull snake at camp

We also got the chance to share camp with this huge guy. Hes a big ole bull snake, harmless to humans, also known to eat rattle snakes, he was very welcome in our camp as Monica shows here! 

There are so many more pictures and more stories to come! Please keep checking back soon for more on this amazing trip!!!